


Undead Origins III

by Whiskey_With_Patron



Series: Undead Origins [3]
Category: Hollywood Undead (Band)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-04-06 09:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19060090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whiskey_With_Patron/pseuds/Whiskey_With_Patron
Summary: In this third installment of the fan-made Undead Origins series, Hollywood Undead's members are waiting patiently for an excuse to attack Book Industries again. They know Councilman Book isn't going to stop spreading his disease around the city anytime soon, but after they tried and failed to get rid of him  him last time, they'll have to be more careful with how and when they attack. After some of Book's employees find out where the guys live and confront them in their own homes, they decide that they're going to set their sights on not Book's company, but Book himself. They track him down in hopes that they can end Book's reign over the city for good. However, things don't go quite the way they planned.





	Undead Origins III

**Author's Note:**

> I'm apologizing in advance because my stupid writer brain went a little apeshit with this one and it's 2000 words longer than it should be. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoy it if you actually make it through the whole thing!

People often like to roam the streets of Los Angeles late at night. Some are looking for something exciting. Some are simply looking for a good time.

Others may be running from something.

 

Johnny 3 Tears stared up at the apartment building. "Is he going to get out here anytime soon?"

Danny shrugged. "He said he was ready."

"He's always late," Funny Man said as he lit a joint.

"Probably feeding his bird," J-Dog suggested.

The door of the building opened and Charlie Scene stepped out, his black parrot on his shoulder. "Sorry to keep you waiting," he said as he hopped down the steps.

The five of them strolled down the sidewalk in the direction of King Don's bar. Usually they would all meet up at the bar separately, but recently, they didn't feel quite safe walking alone anymore. Councilman Book, the mastermind behind Book Technologies, had recently made a comeback since they blew up his company the first time. The second time they ruined his plans, they had sneaked into the new building for his corporation and it ended up in flames. They had never even seen Book in person, but they knew that he was rich and powerful. This wasn't usually something they feared, but lately...

Lately, it just seemed like they were being followed. One of them would see a shadow move out of the corner of his eye, or feel someone's gaze burning into the back of his head, or see someone trailing him home. Danny had started taking a completely different route back to his apartment. Charlie always let his parrot scout ahead before going down a street. J-Dog even considered moving to another apartment building. 

They didn't know who was following them or why. They suspected that it had something to do with Councilman Book, but there was no way to be sure. For now, they just had to bear it.

Johnny heard a sound behind him. He stopped in his tracks and turned around.

"What's up?" J-Dog asked.

Johnny scanned the street for a moment before he kept walking. "Thought I heard something."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "You see anyone?"

Johnny shrugged. "Not sure. It was probably nothing."

They continued down the sidewalk, but now they were all on edge. What if someone was following them right now?

When they didn't hear anything else for another few seconds, they all began to relax. Maybe they were just paranoid.

Then Funny Man heard rapid footsteps approaching and whirled around to look in an alley. He spotted someone running at them from the shadows and jumped out of the way just as they went barreling past. "Whoa!" he shouted in surprise. The person skidded to a stop in the street and turned to face them.

Another person dashed towards them from the alley. Charlie instinctively swung an arm out to punch them and they stumbled. Johnny grabbed them and tossed them to the ground just as five more people ran in and entered the fight.

J-Dog elbowed someone in the face. They clutched their bleeding nose and Funny Man body-slammed them into the side of a building. Danny ducked under someone's punch before grabbing the back of their neck and slamming their head into the building. They crumpled to the ground, completely unconscious. Someone grabbed hold of Funny Man's hair and tried to pull him into the alleyway. He twisted around and managed to deck them in the face before they could drag him away.

J-Dog punched the last guy out cold and the five of them all stood there and caught their breath, processing what had just happened. Why had these random people attacked them? Were these the people who had been following them for the past week or so?

"What the hell was that all about?" Charlie muttered.

Danny stared down at the unconscious body of the person he'd knocked out. "I don't know."

They all exchanged a worried glance. They couldn't waste time standing around wondering. If there were more people following them, they had to keep moving.

 

Dr. Judy raised the phone to her ear and waited for the person on the other end to pick up. "Dr. Judy," Councilman Book's voice said. "What is it?"

"I believe I found one of the groups that's been causing us grief," she answered. She held the phone in the crook between her head and shoulder as she cleaned up some papers off her desk in the newest Book Technologies building. "I sent some people to observe them, and I'm _certain_ that it's the right group." She hesitated. "There is... one problem, though."

"What is it?" Book demanded.

"I sent a few guards after them. I tried to contact the guards a few minutes ago, but I didn't get a response. Considering the damage they've done in the past, I don't think we'll be hearing from those guards again."

"Have you figured out where they live?"

"Yes."

"Send some people there. I'm sick of these masked lunatics ruining my stuff."

Judy placed her papers into her filing cabinet. "Will do, sir."

 

"They just jumped out and attacked us," Funny Man said as King Don passed him a shot.

"We don't know why," Johnny added. 

J-Dog looked up at the TV above Don's head, which was showing an interview with Councilman Book. "I still think it has something to do with him."

"No shit," Johnny mumbled. He glared at the screen. "He's the only one who would have a grudge against us!"

"We should storm the place again," Danny suggested, cracking open a beer. "We didn't get him last time, but maybe-"

"No," Funny interrupted. "Book probably won't be there, and he'll just rebuild his company again. There's no point in targeting his corporation."

Charlie raised a hand to pet his bird. "If we can't find Book, we can't stop what he's doing to the city. We have to take this fight to _him_ , not his company."

"You guys got Dr. Judy's email, right?" Don asked as he poured another shot for Funny Man. "I might be able to hack it and figure out Book's email address, and then track his phone or computer from there."

"You can do that?" Danny asked.

"Maybe," Don said. He passed the shot to Funny. "It would take a while. I'd have to get back to you in the morning about it."

Funny knocked back the shot and set the glass down. "I just don't know. Maybe we should all go home. I don't think we should risk getting attacked again."

"But we just got here!" Charlie complained. 

"Nah, Funny's right," J-Dog agreed. "If we were jumped in the middle of the street, who knows when they might attack us next?"

The five of them all left the bar together, after grabbing a few drinks for the road, of course. They all figured they would be safer in their own homes. 

They were wrong.

 

Johnny reached his floor of the apartment and dug his key out of his pocket. He started down the hall and stopped short when he saw someone familiar standing in front of his door.

"Suzie," he said hesitantly. "What are you doing?"

Suzie was Johnny's neighbor and former friend. She used to be the kind of person who hated politics, but after she went through Book's procedure to turn people into mindless zombies, she supported Book fully. She had an office job now, which was something she would normally hate if she hadn't gone through Book's process.

She turned to him. "Mr. 3 Tears," she said. Her voice sounded so flat and formal, as if the process had taken away any bit of personality she once had. "It's come to my attention that you have been harassing employees of Book Industries."

Johnny glared at her. This wasn't the Suzie he used to know. "How the fuck would you know that?"

"That's none of your business," she said. "Our lawyers are currently handling many cases of property damage thanks to you." Her hard expression softened a little. "Look, Johnny, the process isn't as bad as you think. It really does help. If you could just go through with it-"

"I'm not turning into a zombie," he insisted. "I'm not changing everything about myself and getting rid of my entire personality like you did."

She sighed and set her jaw. "Fine then. You are either going to go to the police and admit to trespassing, breaking and entering, and property damage, or Book Industries is going to deal with you themselves."

Johnny raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Is that a threat? What is Book going to do that he hasn't tried already? We beat up every guard he throws at us. There's nothing he can do."

Suzie shook her head in disappointment. "Alright then." She pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed a number. "Dr. Judy? I'm going to need a lot of backup here. At least fifteen guards, if not more. Thank you."

She hung up the phone. Fifteen guards? Johnny was strong, but not strong enough to beat up fifteen guys all on his own. 

He couldn't stay here. Not if a bunch of people were going to bust down his door and take him away to Book Industries. He turned and bolted back to the elevator.

"Johnny!" Suzie yelled after him. The doors closed just as she reached them.

He pressed the button for the main floor and waited. Where would he go now? Could he stay with one of the other guys?

He left the building and started down the street as soon as he was sure no guards had shown up yet. Maybe he should go back to the bar. Maybe he could figure something out there.

 

None of the guys expected to see each other at the bar again so soon. They all stopped in front of the door. "What are you guys doing here?" Funny Man asked.

"My landlady kicked me out," Charlie said. "She didn't even give me a good reason. I'll have to pack up my stuff later."

"My neighbor tried to fight me in the hall as soon as I got up to my floor," J-Dog explained. "He called someone and asked for backup, so I ran."

Johnny scowled. "My neighbor tried to convince me to do Book's procedure. She called Dr. Judy and I bolted. I didn't know what else to do."

"So it _was_ Book!" Funny shouted. "I fucking knew it!"

"He's been sending people after us," Charlie said. "And now they know where we live."

"Where are we going to stay?" Danny asked. "We can't exactly go back to our apartments."

J-Dog sighed. "I don't know. Maybe we can get a couple hotel rooms for the night."

"None of us can afford that," Johnny pointed out.

Then the door to the bar opened and King Don stuck his head out. "You guys okay? I thought you were going home."

"Book's people showed up at our apartments," Johnny explained. "We have nowhere to stay."

Don sighed and held the door open. "Come on in."

 

King Don closed the bar a bit earlier than usual so the guys could get settled. He'd decided to let them stay overnight, despite not having a whole lot of room for them. Don was staying the night at the bar anyway. He was still in the process of hacking Judy's phone, and had gone into the back room to work.

Most of the guys were already asleep. Johnny had smoked a couple blunts and finally crashed on a table in a booth. J-Dog pulled his snapback over his face and was snoring away in another booth tucked in the corner of the room. Charlie had downed at least a dozen shots and passed out right on the pool table. Instead of resting on its perch next to the bar, his parrot had settled on the edge of the table right next to Charlie.

Funny Man had tried to sleep but he found it difficult to sleep on a table, so he eventually gave up and parked himself at the bar. He burned through a joint as he stacked shotglasses in a pyramid on the counter. Danny, having also given up on sleep, had brought a bunch of beers out from behind the bar and was drinking like it was the end of the world. He hadn't spoken much since they arrived, which was odd. Danny was rarely quiet.

Funny finally decided to break the ice. "Hey Danny, do you have a marker?" he whispered. "I wanna draw a mustache on J-Dog." 

The only response he received was a slight shake of Danny's head as he opened another beer. Funny sighed and moved over one seat so he was sitting right next to Danny.

"What's wrong?" he asked, placing another glass on top of his already precarious tower.

Danny drained the bottle and set it down. "I'm just frustrated," he muttered as he cracked open another. "I hate that Book is doing this to our city and that we're powerless to stop it. He'll just keep coming back no matter what." He took a swig of beer and heaved a frustrated sigh. "And now he knows where we all live. If we fail this time, he'll make our lives a living hell until we either defeat him for good or agree to do his bullshit procedure."

Funny Man carefully set another glass on his tower. "We'll get him this time," he insisted. "King Don is tracking his location. Once we actually find him, there's no way he can escape all five of us."

Danny stared down at his bottle. "I hope so." He glanced up at the tower of glasses. "You know you're gonna have to pay for those if they fall, right?"

"Yeah, I know." Funny set one last glass on top to finish off the pyramid. "See? It's fine."

The tower wobbled and fell over. Glasses toppled over the side of the bar and smashed on the ground, accompanied by a crashing that was loud enough to wake all of Los Angeles. 

Funny Man hesitantly turned around to see if any of the guys had woken up. Johnny stirred in his sleep, but none of them seemed to have noticed.

Danny grinned. "Don's gonna kill you," he mumbled as he raised his bottle to his lips.

Funny glanced at Charlie out of the corner of his eye. "Can we blame this on Charlie?"

Danny shrugged. "My lips are sealed."

Funny Man stood up. "Alright. I'm going to sleep before Don comes in and beats my ass for this."

Danny finished off his bottle as Funny Man walked over to an empty booth. "Good night."

 

King Don swept up the last of the broken glass and glared at the five boys seated at the bar. "You guys don't get to touch my shotglasses anymore."

Funny Man shrugged. "Wasn't me, man."

"I think Charlie was messing around with them last night," Danny said.

"I was not!" Charlie shouted.

"You were pretty drunk," J-Dog pointed out. "Maybe you just don't remember."

Charlie's parrot squawked. "You were drunk!"

Charlie glared at the bird. "Yeah okay, fair point," he grumbled.

King Don sighed and tossed the broken shards in the garbage. "I don't care who it was, as long as you don't do it again." He grabbed the few shotglasses that had survived Funny Man's pyramid and set them on the bar. "You guys want an actual breakfast, or are you okay with a few drinks?"

Danny leaned over the bar and reached for a shotglass as Don filled it with whiskey. "Gimme."

Johnny took the glass and slid it across the bar into Danny's waiting hands. "I think I found Book, by the way," Don said, pouring another shot. "It took a while. The guy's phone is protected by every anti-malware program out there."

"Where is he?" J-Dog asked. He'd grabbed the shot King Don passed to him, but it sat forgotten in his hand now.

"Big mansion way at the edge of the city," King Don answered. "I'll send you the address."

"We'll have a pretty hard time getting in," Charlie commented as he held a cracker up to his parrot to eat. "Probably got a shit ton of security. We can beat up security guards, but security _systems_ might be a bit more of a problem."

"We'll need to come up with a plan before we go in," J-Dog said. 

Danny slid his empty shotglass back across the bar so Don could fill it up again. "We can't come up with a good plan if we don't know what we're dealing with." 

Charlie nodded. "We don't know what kind of security he has. He could have lasers, or trapdoors, or-"

J-Dog raised an eyebrow. "Lasers?"

"Trapdoors?" Funny Man repeated.

Charlie raised his hands. "Dude, money can buy can buy a lot of weird shit! All I'm saying is that we should be prepared!"

"We will be," Danny said. He glanced up at the masks on the wall. "You think...?"

J-Dog saw where Danny was looking and shook his head. "No. Book already knows who we are. There's no point."

"It's not just about hiding our faces," Charlie explained. "It's about showing that we're a team. They may be rich and powerful, but we're just as strong as they are. And wearing those masks shows that."

Funny Man nodded. "Yeah. We're doing this with the masks or not at all. It lets them know that we're powerful. That we're not going to back down."

Danny downed another shot. "So when should we go after him?" he asked as he slid his shotglass back across the bar.

"Not sure," J-Dog said. He turned to Johnny. "Johnny? What do you think?"

Johnny looked up from the bar and wiped the cocaine off his nose. "Hmm? Sorry, I stopped listening. What are we talking about?"

Charlie shook his head. "Anyway, I think we should go in after dark. That way there'll be less people around to see us."

Funny grinned. "Sounds like a plan."

 

Dr. Judy nervously chewed the nail on her thumb as the phone on the other line rang. After what felt like hours, the other line finally picked up. 

"Councilman Book!" she said immediately. "I meant to contact you earlier but my phone-"

"Judy," he interrupted. "What's wrong?"

She hesitated. "We... we didn't take care of the the masked gang," she admitted. "The people I sent after them asked for backup and I sent a bunch of guards, but they emailed me later telling me that the guys got away. I didn't notice their messages because both my phone and my laptop were acting up. I couldn't access my email or my text messages, and I-"

"Judy, _please_ ," Book said. "Slow down! It's okay, I'm not mad."

Dr. Judy sighed in relief. "Really?"

"Yes. We'll get them eventually. Don't worry about it. They can't go back to their homes now. We know where they live." Dr. Judy could almost hear the grin in his voice. "We'll get rid of them one way or another."

 

Charlie absently scratched his parrot's head as he watched Funny Man hammer nails into a wooden bat. "So why are we making more weapons anyway?"

"My bat needs more nails," Danny explained as he leaned against the pool table where Funny was working. "A bunch of them fell out last time we attacked Book Industries."

"I had to get Don to sharpen my axe," Funny added. "J-Dog said he wants a weapon too, so we're gonna have to figure out what to get for him."

"As long as you're not the one making it," J-Dog mumbled as he joined Charlie next to the table.

"I've gotten better!" Funny Man said defensively. "Some of my stuff works!"

Danny picked up his bat. Three nails immediately fell out of the wood and clattered onto the table.

Funny Man glared down at the nails. "I said _some_ of it works."

Johnny shrugged. "It's better than what you usually do."

Funny Man pointed to Johnny. " _Thank_ you! At least he appreciates me!"

The door to the back room opened and King Don stepped out. "It's getting late. Think you're ready to go?"

Johnny glanced up at his silver and blue mask on the wall. "I sure hope so. We have to get rid of him this time. Otherwise-"

"We won't even be able to walk the streets without his guards trailing us," Danny finished. "They'll keep trying to get rid of us, and they won't stop until they succeed."

J-Dog rolled a joint and passed it to Funny Man. "Yeah, but this isn't just about us. We have to get rid of him to save the rest of the city. Everyone is in danger as long as Book is still out there. We can't afford to mess up this time."

Charlie nodded. "Yeah. J-Dog's right. We have to find him and take him down. We won't let him get away this time. We can't."

Johnny reached up and took his mask off the wall. "We should go. It's dark enough that we'll be harder to see. The longer we put this off, the longer Book is controlling the city."

Funny turned around to look at Don behind the bar. "Hey Don, did you sharpen my axe?"

King Don grabbed something off the floor and tossed it over the bar. Funny Man caught the double-sided battleaxe in one hand. "Thanks!"

Danny picked his bat up off the table and examined it. A couple of the nails seemed a little loose, but Johnny was right- it was much better than what Funny Man usually accomplished. "What about J-Dog?" he asked. "What's he gonna use as a weapon?"

"Here." Don picked something else off the floor and set it on the bar. "You okay with a sledgehammer?"

J-Dog picked up the hammer off the bar and tossed it from one hand to the other, testing its weight. "Nice. Thanks Don."

Charlie reached up and grabbed his bandanna off the wall. "You guys ready?"

His parrot hopped onto his shoulder and squawked. "Ready!"

Johnny fastened his mask around his head. "Alright. Let's go save the city again."

 

So the guys donned their masks and gathered their weapons, and they set off to confront Councilman Book for what would hopefully be the last time. They were sick of him ruining their city, and they were going to put a stop to it once and for all. King Don let them use his car again, only after they made a strict promise not to crash it into the building. Each of them was either high or drunk, so it's not like their word meant much, but at least it made Don feel a little bit better. 

Johnny parked the car a ways away from Book's mansion. He and Charlie stepped out first. Funny Man, J-Dog, and Danny hopped out of the backseat, weapons in hand. Book's mansion was way at the edge of the city, and his property was _huge_. There were a lot of hedges and trees, so they hoped they could sneak across the yard without being spotted. 

They approached the front gates. Charlie reached out and pushed on it, but it seemed to be locked. "How the fuck are we gonna get through this?" Charlie asked.

Johnny and Funny Man backed up and took a running start at the gate. It creaked as they crashed against it, but the lock held. 

"That's one strong lock," Danny muttered as he hefted his bat.

"Let me try," J-Dog offered. Johnny and Funny backed away from the gate and J-Dog walked up. He reared his sledgehammer back and hit the gates with all his strength. Johnny and Funny Man had already weakened the lock, so after a second swing, it broke and the gates flung open. Danny put his bat between them before they could slam shut again.

Johnny clapped J-Dog on the shoulder. "Nice."

The five of them cautiously peered through the gates. There didn't seem to be any security guards, but that didn't mean there weren't any other security systems around. Charlie still thought lasers and trapdoors might be an option, but the rest of the guys were mostly looking out for cameras and motion sensors. A rich guy like Book probably had every security system out there.

They walked up the path towards the mansion. The entire yard seemed to be as big as a golf course. Danny offhandedly wondered if Book used a golf cart to get from his house to the gates.

Shrubs and hedges lined the path, an occasional statue peeking out between the foliage. It was pretty, but the guys found it superficial. The city was crowded and cramped as it was, and Book didn't need all that property. It could easily be used to make houses for the homeless people of Los Angeles, but Book was using it for his own personal statue garden.

They heard a loud crash and whirled around, weapons up, ready to fight whoever had approached them. J-Dog stood on the path behind the others, the smashed remains of a statue on the path at his feet and his sledgehammer clutched in both hands.

They all relaxed. "J-Dog, what the fuck?" Johnny hissed.

J-Dog shrugged. "What? He's rich. He can replace it."

He stepped over the smashed statue and followed the others down the path. They hadn't come across anything that might be some sort of security system, but they still kept an eye out just in case.

Then Charlie stopped in the middle of the path. "You guys hear that?" he asked. 

They fell silent and listened. After a moment, they all noticed what Charlie had heard- a faint whirring sound coming from somewhere nearby. 

"What is that?" Johnny wondered. 

J-Dog looked up and scanned the statues ahead of them. He stepped closer to one of them and squinted through his mask. it was a statue of an eagle, its beak wide open in a screech. The whirring got louder as he moved closer. He moved in front of it and stared skeptically into its beak.

Suddenly, an alarm began blaring from the eagle's beak. J-Dog panicked and swung his hammer at it. The alarm stopped as soon as it made contact. The eagle exploded into ceramic shards and its pieces scattered around the grass behind its pedestal.

"The fuck was that?" Danny shouted as the rest of the guys gathered around J-Dog. 

"Motion sensor," J-Dog answered. "I don't know if he's got it wired to call the police once it detects something, so we'd better move quick."

They broke into a run down the path. They came across a few more motion sensors along the way, but they figured the damage had already been done and didn't bother to wreck them. Book already knew they were there. 

They finally reached the house. A camera swiveled above the door. There didn't seem to any point to destroying it, as the motion alarms had already alerted anyone indoors to their presence. However, Funny Man felt great satisfaction in walking up to the door and slicing through the camera all the same. Buying a new camera would be a small annoyance to a rich tech mogul like Book, but as long as it inconvenienced him, it was worth it.

Charlie reached out and turned the doorknob. Surprisingly, it swung open.

"All those motion sensors, and the guy won't even lock his door?" Johnny mumbled. 

J-Dog shrugged. "Makes our job easier."

They filed in through the door and stopped in the entryway. The hallway ahead of them was crisscrossed with red beams of light.

"Lasers!" Charlie yelled. "I fucking called it!"

"But are they just more motion sensors?" Johnny asked. "They might be harmless."

"Hang on," Danny said. He cracked open a beer (seriously, where the fuck is he hiding these?) and quickly downed the whole thing. He reared back and threw the empty bottle directly into the lasers. They sliced through the glass and dozens of pieces scattered around the floor, the edges glowing with heat.

"I don't think that's harmless," Funny Man observed.

"How are we going to get past that?" Johnny wondered. 

"There's gotta be some way to shut it off," J-Dog said. "Maybe we can get King Don to hack into it?"

Charlie shook his head. "That would take too long. We need to do this _tonight_."

Danny walked up to the wall next to the lasers. "Maybe..."

Funny Man stepped towards him. "What is it?"

Danny glanced back at Funny Man. "I think we can get into the lasers' wiring from here. If the wall is thin enough, we can probably smash through it."

"Don't need to tell me twice," J-Dog said, walking up to them and lifting his sledgehammer. "The more of Book's shit we wreck, the better."

Danny and Funny Man stepped back as J-Dog reared back his hammer. It slammed right through the wall, leaving a huge hole in its wake.

Danny finished off another beer and pushed his mask back down over his face. "Nice."

Funny Man stepped forward. "Hang on, I wanna wreck something."

J-Dog moved away from the wall to let Funny through. Funny raised his axe above his head and brought it down right at the hole J-Dog had made. The axe easily cleaved through the wall.

Funny yanked his axe back out and rested it on his shoulder. "That was downright therapeutic," he said.

Johnny grabbed the edge of the hole in the wall and pried it open further. "I'm not seeing anything but insulation and drywall," he announced. 

Charlie reached in and felt along the inside of the wall. His hand grazed something and he latched onto it. "I found a wire!" he said. He tried pulling on it, but it wouldn't budge. 

The guys heard the sound of glass breaking and whipped their heads around. Danny had smashed his empty beer bottle against the wall. He picked up a sharp piece of glass and held it out to Charlie. "Here."

Charlie took the shard. "Thanks." He reached back into the wall and sliced through the wire. All the lasers immediately blinked out.

"Nice!" J-Dog yelled. He ran into the hall and the others followed.

They glanced cautiously at the walls as they ran through in case the lasers decided to reappear. They came to the end of the corridor and emerged in a huge room. Two curved staircases led upwards, one on each side of the room. A pair of doors sat between them, and two more doors were on either side of room next to the bottom of the staircases.

"This place is like a fucking castle," Johnny mumbled.

Charlie reached behind his head to make sure his bandanna was still tied. "I think we should go to the top floor again," he suggested.

"That's the worst place to be if another fire breaks out," Johnny pointed out. "I am _not_ jumping out of another building."

"Yeah, but that's probably where he is," Funny Man said. "Hiding behind all his security stuff."

Charlie started toward one of the staircases. "Let's go then."

His parrot launched itself off his shoulder and landed on the stairs. "Let's go!" it echoed.

The rest of the guys followed Charlie up the stairs. They didn't know where exactly Book would be, but they weren't leaving until they found him and took him down. They couldn't stand by any longer and let him take advantage of their city.

They reached the top of the stairs and looked out into the wide hallway in front of them. Dozens of doors lined the walls. They hesitantly walked into the hall, unsure of which door to take. There were so many.

"Where the fuck is this guy?" Charlie grumbled. 

"We don't even know if this is the top floor," Danny reminded them. "There might be a third one."

"There's probably a door at the end of the hallway that he's hiding in," Funny Man said. "Narcissistic bad guys always have their doors at the end of a really long hallway. That way the heroes get to be all dramatic when they run in to fight him."

"Well, wherever he is, we've gotta be ready," J-Dog said. "He might have some security guards protecting his ass." 

"We haven't had too much trouble so far," Johnny pointed out as he started down the hall again. "We'll probably be-"

He was cut off when the floor beneath him disappeared. He yelped as he fell into the hole that had suddenly appeared under his feet. He landed on his back and the air left his lungs in a sharp wheeze.

"Fucking trapdoors!" Charlie's voice yelled above him. "I told you!"

"Okay, you were right for once in your life," J-Dog said. "Now how the fuck do we get Johnny out of there?"

Danny's head appeared over the edge of the hole. "You okay?"

Johnny pushed himself to his feet. "I'm fine," he shouted. He didn't seem to have fallen far. If one of the guys reached down, he could probably grab their hand if he jumped.

Funny Man leaned into the hole and reached in. "Come on, we don't have all day."

Johnny leaped up and grabbed Funny's hand. J-Dog reached down and grabbed Johnny's other hand, and the two of them pulled Johnny out of the hole.

Danny drained another beer and smashed the bottle against he wall. He picked up a handful of shards and tossed them into the hallway. Panels in the floor opened up and swallowed each one as soon as they hit the ground.

"Fucking rich people and their security systems," Charlie sighed as he stared out at the dozens of holes in the floor. "How do we get through that?"

Funny Man shrugged. "Just jump across."

"There's barely any floor!" Johnny pointed out. 

Danny easily leaped across the hole Johnny had fallen into. He wobbled and almost fell into the hole in front of him, but he quickly regained his balance. "See? We'll be fine."

J-Dog shrugged and jumped across after him. Danny hopped across another hole and J-Dog followed him. Funny Man wasn't too far behind. He and J-Dog found it a little harder to balance with the weight of their weapons, but they managed fine.

"I bet you ten bucks one of them trips and falls," Charlie said. 

Johnny shook his head. "Not taking that bet." He carefully hopped across a hole, and Charlie followed with his parrot on his shoulder.

Danny and J-Dog leaped across one last hole and made it to the other end of the hallway without falling. Funny Man was just about to follow when his foot slipped and fell forward. _"Fuck!"_ he yelled in a panic. He almost fell face-first into the hole in front of him, but his axe caught the edge and dug into the floor. He ended up dangling off the edge, his axe the only thing keeping him from falling to the ground below.

Johnny leaned over the hole Funny was hanging into. "Need help?"

Funny Man held out a hand. Johnny grabbed him and hauled him out of the hole as Charlie hopped onto the floor next to them. Funny pried his axe out of the floor and rested it on his shoulder. 

Danny tapped the floor in front of him with his bat. "Don't think there are any more trapdoors."

J-Dog looked down the hallway. "There's a door right at the end, and I'm not seeing any elevators or stairs."

"Yeah, but there are dozens of other doors," Charlie reminded him. "He could be in any one of these rooms."

"Let's just go in," Johnny suggested. "See what happens."

They all walked towards the door. J-Dog took hold of the handle and slowly cracked the door open. He peered into the room beyond. Paintings hung on the walls and statues littered the floor. It appeared to be some sort of gallery. "I'm not seeing anything," he whispered. He pushed the door open the rest of the way and the five of them walked in, weapons at the ready. 

Johnny kicked the door shut and gazed around the room. "Pretty big collection," he observed.

Charlie reached out and pushed a statue off its pedestal. It fell to the ground and shattered into a million ceramic pieces. He glanced at Funny Man. "You're right. Wrecking his shit does feel pretty good."

Danny looked at the door at the end of the room. "You think he's in there?"

Then the doors swung open and a pack of thirty security guards spilled into the room.

"If there are this many guards here, we're probably getting close!" J-Dog yelled as he ran towards the group. He swung his hammer at the guards and made contact with three of them. They collapsed and J-Dog smashed his hammer over another's guard's head. He seemed to be having a little too much fun with his new weapon.

Danny ducked under someone's fist and cracked his bat against their head. "Hey!" he casually yelled to Johnny as he kicked someone in the side. "How many of these fuckers do you think we've beaten up over the past month?"

Johnny picked a guard up by their jacket and tossed them directly into a statue. "I'd say about a hundred! You?"

Danny elbowed someone in the face. "I thought it was more! At least two hundred!"

Funny Man sliced through three guards at once. "Really? I only thought it was about sixty!" He yelped when a guard grabbed a fistful of his hair. "Hey!"

Charlie ran up to the guard who had a hold of Funny Man and kneed them in the stomach. They let go of Funny and doubled over. Charlie grabbed them and tossed them into a painting, where they slid down the wall and collapsed on the ground.

"Thanks!" Funny shouted, slicing through a guard that was about to tackle J-Dog. 

"No problem!" Charlie yelled back.

"No problem!" his parrot repeated as it scratched a guard's eyes out.

J-Dog hit one last guard over the head and they fell to the ground. "That wasn't so hard," he said.

Johnny nodded. "So you think he's in there?" he asked, pointing at the doors the guards had come through.

"Probably," Funny said. "Come on, let's end th-"

He was cut off when the bang of a gunshot echoed through the room. J-Dog whipped his head around to see where it had come from. One guard, still miraculously conscious, had propped himself up and drawn his gun from his holster. His hand fell back to the ground and he glared daggers at the five of them.

J-Dog walked up to him. The guard didn't even try to move away when J-Dog raised his hammer and slammed it on his head. The guard collapsed and J-Dog turned around to face the guys. "Everyone okay?"

Charlie glanced down at himself. "I'm fine."

"I'm fine!" his parrot echoed as it settled on Charlie's shoulder.

"I think we're all okay," Johnny said.

Danny looked over at the doors. "Let's get this over w-" Then Funny Man stumbled into him, and Danny held out an arm to catch him. "Dude, what-?" 

His voice caught in his throat when he saw the blood on Funny's shirt. Danny couldn't see Funny's face, but the skin around the mask was pale and his breathing was shallow. Danny looked up at the others. "Guys?"

They all turned to look. Their eyes grew wide behind their masks.

"Shit..." Johnny whispered. 

Charlie took off his sunglasses and walked up to Funny. "Funny? You okay?"

They heard the sound of someone clapping and whirled around. Dr. Judy stood next to the doors, a clipboard in one hand and a pen in the other. The clapping got louder, and another person appeared in the doorway. A person that they had seen on TV way too many times. A person who had been wearing sunglasses every day for the past month to hide his ruined eyes.

Councilman Book.

He stopped clapping and shoved his hands in his pockets. "That was a lovely show. I didn't see it, of course, but I heard it all. You five are all _very_ strong. Of course, it will be a pain to replace those statues and the camera you destroyed- and my lasers will have to be rewired too. Nice job on that. I didn't think you'd get past it."

Johnny clenched his fists and started towards Book. "You motherfucker!"

He stopped in his tracks when Dr. Judy pulled a gun out of her pocket and pointed it at his head. "Don't move," she ordered.

Charlie put his sunglasses back on and crossed his arms. "You knew we were here?"

"Yes," Book answered. He strolled further into the room and moved his sightless gaze around the room, as if he was staring at all the statues that had once stood on the now ruined pedestals. "I tried to get rid of you a couple days ago. That didn't work. I sent people into your homes. That didn't work either. I finally realized that the only way to get rid of you was to lure you in. I figured you would come find me. I let you hack Judy's email to find my phone. I had to uninstall a few anti-malware programs, but I don't think I really needed to. Your hacker is very talented. Which one of you is it? J-Dog? Johnny?"

Judy's eyes widened and her gaze briefly flickered to Book. "You let them hack my phone?" she muttered. "You knew they were doing this and didn't tell me?"

"I was afraid you would be worried," Book said. 

"You let us in here so you could kill us," Danny muttered. The barely conscious Funny Man started slipping from his grasp and he draped Funny's arm around his shoulders. Funny's axe clattered to the ground, and Danny dropped his bat next to it so he could focus on keeping Funny Man upright.

"Fucking asshole," Funny mumbled feebly, clutching at the gunshot wound in his side. "Someone shut him up."

Book shrugged. The smug smile never left his lips, and it infuriated Charlie. The guy had caused so many people grief, and he had the nerve to _smile_ about it?

"You have been a thorn in my side for the past month," Book said. "There have been other masked lunatics pestering me, of course, but you five have been the most persistent. It seems my company may have struck a personal nerve when one of your own considered joining us."

J-Dog clenched his sledgehammer. "Shut your fucking mouth! You've been taking advantage of the city, and _it needs to stop!"_

"We're making the world better," Book said. "You all could have joined us. You could have helped make the world better with us. I would offer you all a second chance to change your minds, but I'm afraid you wouldn't accept. We have no other choice but to get rid of you."

As if on cue, the doors behind them burst open and what looked like a fifty guards walked in. The guys might have been able to take them, but with Dr. Judy pointing that gun at Johnny's head, they weren't about to try anything.

"You can all say goodbye if you'd like," Book offered. "You know, since you'll be dead soon."

The guys glanced around the room. A bunch of guards had parked themselves in front of all the windows in the room, and a few of them had guns in holsters at their waists. There didn't seem to be any way out.

Danny looked up at J-Dog. "You have a plan?"

J-Dog looked around frantically. "No..."

Book raised an eyebrow towards J-Dog's voice. "No goodbyes? You'd rather just die without any final words to each other?" He shrugged. "Alright then. Die."

Every single guard in the room immediately rushed for them. Danny pushed Funny to the ground as someone swung their fist at them. Danny only just managed to avoid their fist, but they reared back their foot to kick Funny in the head. 

"No!" Danny yelled as the guard's foot made contact. Funny Man crumpled immediately. Danny snatched something off the floor, thinking it was his bat. He reared it back and hit the guard's head. Turned out, he had grabbed Funny's axe instead. The blade sliced through the guard and they went down in an explosion of blood.

Danny knelt down to see if Funny Man was still conscious, but a whole crowd of guards gathered around him. He managed to dodge a few swings, but there were too many of them. He raised his arms to protect his head, but there wasn't much else he could do.

"Danny!" someone's voice yelled. He glanced up and saw J-Dog swinging his hammer at the crowd of guards. Danny ducked as the hammer flew past his face and connected with someone's skull. 

"Go through the window!" J-Dog yelled. "We're getting out of here!"

"What about Book?" Danny asked as he dodged another person's fist.

"There are more guards coming in!" J-Dog shouted. He cracked his hammer over someone's head. "There's no way we can get to him! Get Funny out of here! We'll be right behind you!"

Danny nodded and knelt next to Funny Man. He slung Funny's arm around his shoulders and hoisted him up. It was a little harder to carry him now that he was fully unconscious, but Danny grabbed his bat with his other hand and made his way to a nearby window. Guards tried to hit him and Funny along the way, but J-Dog covered them as best he could. 

Danny raised his bat and smashed it against the window. The glass shattered and Danny looked down. They weren't as high up as they were last time they jumped out of a window, and there were hedges along the side of the building that might provide a softer landing. 

He hoisted himself and Funny Man up onto the window ledge. Guards tried to pull them back inside, but J-Dog clobbered a few with his hammer and got their attention. Danny glanced back into the room to see how the others were doing. Charlie and Johnny were slowly making their way to the opposite window. Johnny seemed to have found Funny's axe, because he was cleaving through guards like they were made of butter. Book was nowhere to be seen. J-Dog was right- there was no way they would have been able to get to him in this mess.

He froze when he saw Dr. Judy standing by the doors. She had dropped her clipboard and was now holding her gun with both hands. She had leveled the weapon directly at Danny's chest and glared at him down the barrel. Danny didn't dare move in case she shot and hit Funny Man.

She clenched her jaw and tightened her grip on the gun. She seemed to consider it for a moment, but then she lowered the weapon. The cold hardness in her eyes seemed to disappear for a moment before she turned and fled through the doors.

Danny didn't waste time dwelling on it. He pulled Funny Man onto the window ledge and carefully dropped him over the side. He landed softly in the hedges and Danny jumped after him. J-Dog saw that they were out and vaulted over the window ledge, leaving the guards grasping wildly out the window.

 

King Don passed a shot to one of his usual customers. It was a guy with curly dark hair, the one who had asked Dr. Judy about a record deal a while ago. Don was surprised to see him back. He'd thought the guy had gone through the process and become a mindless zombie. 

"Thanks," the guy said. He took the shotglass and walked back to his booth.

A skinny man with tattoos walked up to the bar and held up two fingers. "Two beers please."

Don grabbed two beers off the shelf and passed them to him. Don watched as the guy walked back to his usual booth and sat down across from a girl with blonde hair. There was usually a group of people sitting with them. He wondered where they'd gone.

Then the door opened and Don looked up. Danny, J-Dog, Charlie, and Johnny all walked in. They had taken off their masks, and they all looked exhausted.

"Where's Funny Man?" Don asked immediately. He poured whiskey into a shotglass as Danny slumped into his seat. 

"He's in the car," Johnny answered. 

Don passed the shotglass to Danny. "Is he okay?"

To Don's surprise, Danny didn't knock back the shot in one gulp. He just sipped dejectedly at the whiskey. "Maybe," he muttered.

"We just stopped by to say our goodbyes," J-Dog said.

Don blinked. "Goodbye? Where are you going?"

"We didn't get Book," Charlie grumbled. "He's still out there. We talked out it on the way back. We have to leave or he'll keep coming after us."

"We'll get Funny out of the car once he's awake," Johnny said. 

Don could hardly believe his ears. "You're just... leaving? What about taking Book down?"

"We _will_ take him down," J-Dog insisted. "But there's no way we can do that with his guards on our asses all the time. We'll go to another part of the city until they stop trying to track us."

They all fell silent. This was much more serious now. Funny Man was hurt, and Book could find them anywhere. They didn't even know if they'd be safe moving all the way across the city. Book could probably find them there too. There was no way to know for sure.

Charlie reached up to his shoulder to pet his parrot. "If Funny dies, I'm gonna kill Book myself," he mumbled. 

Don's gaze traveled from Danny's tired face to Charlie's enraged glare. He sighed. "You guys can take the car. I can survive without it for a while."

Johnny raise an eyebrow. "Really?"

Don nodded. "Yeah. You'll need a vehicle if these people are going to keep chasing you."

J-Dog sighed with relief. "Thank you."

Danny finished off the rest of his whiskey and stood up. "We should go. They chased us off Book's property, and we don't know if they're still trailing us."

They all made their way to the door. "When will you be back?" Don called after them.

Johnny paused in the doorway and glanced back. "I don't know." 

With that, he stepped outside and let the door swing shut behind him.

**Author's Note:**

> I got the second one out three days after the first one, but I couldn't even work on this one for a couple weeks because final exams are almost here and ohhhhh boy am I stressed!! I've got a shit ton of homework but hopefully I can get the fourth and fifth ones out quicker once my exams are done.


End file.
